Noke Bio: Zahner, The Self-Labeled Dictator
The mastermind behind this entire endeavor is one Chad Zahner.
What can I tell you about Zahner?
Let's see. First, he likes to think he's in control. Something about being Navy and wanting to boss people around. He's always sending out orders and moving people between vans.
He likes to threaten a lot, but it's mostly harmless. He never follows through on the threats.
He also has pretend friends. Like, he's always "calling people" on his phone, but no one ever answers. One time, he made a ringing noise and pretended someone was calling him. He had an entire conversation...with no one.
He has an unnatural obsession with cats. Seriously. Just ask the others. He's constantly sharing cat facts. It's weird.
Some people call him Ziggy. We call him Dictator.
We're not quite sure how he managed to trick his amazing wife, Ashlee, into marrying him. Some say bribery. Others say he slipped something into her drink. I'm thinking he threatened to harm a little puppy until she agreed to be his wife.
But here's the part you can never ever ever tell him I said. He has a heart of gold. He would give you the shirt off his back, though it will probably be some gross, sweaty shirt from whatever race he's just run. He volunteers in many ways throughout our community and goes out of his way to make sure his people are taken care of. And he insisted that we support the awesome organization Girls on the Run as we took on this adventure.
And once, he mostly voluntarily gave me half a bag of Doritos.
That's friendship.
And admittedly, he's holding this endeavor together.
And we're all mostly grateful for that because I sure don't want to be the one in charge of us. Seriously, keeping all of us in line is much like herding cats...which is probably something he enjoys given his interest in weird cat trivia.
What can I tell you about Zahner?
Let's see. First, he likes to think he's in control. Something about being Navy and wanting to boss people around. He's always sending out orders and moving people between vans.
He likes to threaten a lot, but it's mostly harmless. He never follows through on the threats.
He also has pretend friends. Like, he's always "calling people" on his phone, but no one ever answers. One time, he made a ringing noise and pretended someone was calling him. He had an entire conversation...with no one.
He has an unnatural obsession with cats. Seriously. Just ask the others. He's constantly sharing cat facts. It's weird.
Some people call him Ziggy. We call him Dictator.
We're not quite sure how he managed to trick his amazing wife, Ashlee, into marrying him. Some say bribery. Others say he slipped something into her drink. I'm thinking he threatened to harm a little puppy until she agreed to be his wife.
But here's the part you can never ever ever tell him I said. He has a heart of gold. He would give you the shirt off his back, though it will probably be some gross, sweaty shirt from whatever race he's just run. He volunteers in many ways throughout our community and goes out of his way to make sure his people are taken care of. And he insisted that we support the awesome organization Girls on the Run as we took on this adventure.
And once, he mostly voluntarily gave me half a bag of Doritos.
That's friendship.
And admittedly, he's holding this endeavor together.
And we're all mostly grateful for that because I sure don't want to be the one in charge of us. Seriously, keeping all of us in line is much like herding cats...which is probably something he enjoys given his interest in weird cat trivia.
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